As I sit here this early morning with my hot cup of coffee I am in deep thought, about living in the moment. We all think about it, we can appreciate it, but do we do it?
Five years ago I was pregnant with my little Oaklee when this little dream of RiOak began. Obviously at the time I had no idea how much RiOak would change my life as I knew it. Punching a time clock would no longer be in my vocabulary. Sounds amazing right? Not exactly. I didn't realize my time clock of 8-4:30 would quickly turn in to unlimited time and that saying, "Thank God It's Friday," would no longer have any meaning to me. I am a business owner and a mom business owner at that.
Which brings me to the topic, "The Moments I Can't Get Back."
It is a true struggle owning your own business and raising kids at the same time. Everyone in this household struggles with this. When I am spending time with my kids, the business is neglected and when I am working late hours the kids get neglected. Not to mention when mom doesn't do the laundry or clean the house, everyone and everything is affected. The balancing act is a constant tight rope act, day after day, and yes some days I truly do feel like the tight rope performer in the circus that has come to town.
So how do I do it? I honestly have no answer. The one thing I do know is my kids HAVE to be my priority and my main priority-- always. Although sometimes they may not feel like it, everything I do is for my family. Which at times this means I have to work late because we need groceries, the roof over our head, taxes have to be paid and the list goes on. I TRY to be respectful of my time. It is no secret that I love working, many would say I am addicted and I wouldn't argue that point. I truly love marketing, designing and creating. It is who I am and what I love to do, it fulfills me... but so does being a mother and wife.
I am not perfect. I do neglect time with my kids to work, I do have guilt for those moments I can't ever get back. All of the "Watch this Mom" "Hey Mom, mommy, momma, mmmmooooommmm's" can get to be overwhelming at times. I am guilty of saying, "Just a minute, or let me finish this and then I will." And I am not proud to say but those minutes can turn into an hour or that sign took longer than I thought or I had to do just one more thing. I know these are the times in my life I wish I would have stopped and just watched but my business has also not gotten to where it is today by stopping every time I am needed somewhere else. I am a very determined business woman and sometimes it takes over my life and everyone else's too. Unfortunately some days there just isn't enough time or enough me to go around.
The RiOak girls are truly my heart, there is nothing I would not do for them. At times when I get the gut feeling they are needing my attention, I just stop. I stop typing, I stop painting, I stop designing, I stop answering messages, I stop everything and just be their mom. This cannot happen all the time but I am proud to say I make it a point to STOP a few times a month just to be with them and not on my phone with them, I mean truly, my whole body and mind with them.
Since we came back from our week long vacation I have had to work many hours to get caught back up. As a mom you have a gut feeling often and when you have that feeling you better act on it, am I a right? This past Friday I just had THAT feeling, my girls are needing me. So I took off at 2 o'clock in the afternoon (about 4 hours early). We played games, watched a movie and took a nap together. On a whim at 7:15 at night I had a thought...let's do something fun. We all got dressed in our "Town" clothes and picked up my mom for a ladies evening spent at McDonald's and a late movie at the movie theater. This doesn't happen often but I hope as my girls get older they will know that I tried to live in the moment of that day or week and make them a priority.
As the years go on I know there will be moments I can't get back and I will have some regret. I also know I am doing the best I can to raise my girls to know what respect and manners are. Teach them Family traditions and how to be a mom. They will also understand the importance of dreaming and working to achieve those dreams to make them a reality and it does require sacrifice. It is my hope my girls will know, their mom gave 110% and enjoyed many moments with them. You don't get do overs in life. I will never have an 8 year old and a five year old again. Birthdays will come and go and my kids will get older. The business will continue to grow and demand more year after year. The only thing I can do is live day by day, follow my heart and gut feelings and just live in moment.
(teaching girls how to make my Granny Mae's fresh Green Beans)
As always cheers from my coffee cup to yours,